If you nuke it, they will come...

I think that there should be an international ban on the deployment of microwave popcorn in the working environment. It has got to be one of the most distracting things I can think of. Torture, really. Perhaps the UN will get involved, or somebody will come forward and let me know that it is against the Geneva Convention. Microwave popcorn either:

• smells *GREAT* and you MUST have some (although there isn't any for sale in the vending machine)


• smells AWFUL because somebody didn't stand near the machine to see when it stopped popping and it is now a carbonized lump in the cafeteria threatening anyone in the vicinity with carbon monoxide poisoning.


• is endangering the safety of all employees due to the fact that it has burst into flames in the microwave (see above).

Perhaps we should get the FDA or the EPA involved here. I'm not kidding, but there is a disease, Bronchiolitis obliterans (AKA "popcorn lung") caused by the inhalation of the chemicals used to make the lovely buttery aroma. Either way, the stuff is a nuisance in the office.

Gawd, I want a bowl of popcorn right now.