Any port in a storm...

As a male, there is one mystery of life for all of us. When is our significant other going to be having "that time of the month". The typical way that most males seem to be able to tell is to look for excess consumption of :

• Chocolate
• Wine
• Potato Chips
• Chocolate

Missing the signs of PMS can be dangerous to any relationship, usually resulting in any of the following:

• Crying.
• "I will KILL you."
• "Don't touch me."
• Utter silence.

About three weeks ago, my DW did me a kindness. She sent me a an email from a website called PMSBuddy.com. From their website came the following:

Welcome to PMSBuddy.com!

PMSBuddy.com is a free service created with a single goal in mind: to keep you aware of when your wife, girlfriend, mother, sister, daughter, or any other women in your life are closing in on "that time of the month" - when things can get intense for what may seem to be no reason at all.

For women, this is a great way to give people in your life a heads-up of when you might be feeling a bit irritable without having an awkward conversation.

What's more, we will not only keep you informed, but will give you some free advice on what to do about it. With PMSBuddy.com, there is no reason to ever be blindsided by PMS again.

PMSBuddy.com - Saving relationships, one month at a time!

So at any rate, I got a warning yesterday evening. It let me know that I should be expecting signs of PMS from my DW in about 5 days. Attached to the email were several suggestions for assuaging the symptoms. Included were some adverts for companies offering services to help the male of the species survive the next few days.

(Flowers)- "When all else fails, flowers will always do the trick. They are kryptonite to PMS."

(Matchmaking) - "If it's really that bad, maybe something's amiss. As they say, it never hurts to look." (OMG. Ed.)

(Travel) - "Give her the ultimate gift. Suprise her with a special vacation, romantic cruise or weekend getaway!" (A CRUISE fer Gawd's sake?)

(Wine) - "Do something special for her and show her you care. A bottle of her favorite wine should help calm things down."

(Lingerie) - "During PMS women can feel bloated and unattractive. Show her how you really feel with some sexy lingerie." (This seems like a good way to die...Ed.)

I suppose that people in marketing will make a buck on just about anything.