Tech Tip Tuesday

Sometimes the best thing you can do in the shop is - nothing.

Really.

I can see some of you aren't taking me seriously here.

You should.

Let me explain.

Over the last few weeks, I've been working to get the skin-on-frame kayak ready for skinning.  It's not that difficult or time-consuming, but I've got to carve out bits of time to do some small tasks.  Things like finishing up the coaming, hatch and rim.  This involves getting them sanded and varnished and putting lacing holes in the coaming and the rim.  Then, I've got to put the last coat of urethane on the frame.  I've also collected all the necessary skinning materials and tools.  Great.  Just the way any good project goes - in small, manageable bits.

Tonight, I have four small tasks to do.  One is to coat a small piece of fabric with some yellow oil-based enamel.  Part has been pre-coated with polyurethane to seal it and the other is bare.  I want to see how the fabric penetrates.  Then I read the can.  It's not the oil-based paint I asked for, but a can of water-based acrylic.  Not the right stuff.  Dang.  Can't do it.

The next task is to install the foot brace in the boat now that I've done the finished coating.  It involves installing four bolts, washers and lock-washers in pre-drilled holes.  The task goes something like this:

• Collect hardware and foot braces.  
• Get power driver and install bolts through foot brace and frame.  
• Remove bolts. 
• Take power driver and install bolts through foot brace and frame with foot braces right-side up.
• Look for wrench.
• Got get wrench from toolbox. (On far side of basement.)
• Go get proper sized wrench from toolbox.
• Get screwdriver that I've forgotten from toolbox
• Install washer.
• Grab lock nut.
• Pick up washer from floor and re-install.
• Start threading on nut.
• Pick up nut from floor and install.
• Repeat for other three washers and lock nuts.

I finally got the foot braces installed and put the tools away.

After the last two tasks, I should have thrown in the towel.  I didn't, however - much to my chagrin.

I'm worried that the coating I'm planning to use on the fabric will penetrate the cloth and stick to the frame.  To prevent that, I figured that I'd wax the frame members where they contact the fabric.  I was originally thinking of using some beeswax that I have around for the task, but instead decided to go find some paste car wax as it would be easier to apply.  I'm out of paste wax.  I do, however, have a bottle of Mother's Carnuba wax liquid that's probably about 20% full.  I figure that this will do and it is a good excuse to finish up the last bit of the wax which has been hanging around for longer than I'd care to admit.

I open the nozzle and invert the bottle squeezing liquid into the cloth and applying it to the frame.  As I'm working, the nozzle clogs slightly and I give the bottle what I figure is a gentle squeeze.  The bottle shatters in my hand covering me from head to toe in liquid wax.  The stuff is everywhere.  It's like the contents of the bottle have atomized across the basement. 

Murphy.  You SOB.

I get the rag and some alcohol and do the best I can to clean the floor and everything else that is covered in wax.

Again, I should have stopped here.  But I didn't.

Last task - sew some small loops of webbing to the frame with D-Rings for the back-rest.  I cut the webbing to length and slip it and the D-Ring in place.  I thread the needle (after sending it flying out of the package and searching for it) and start sewing.  On my third stitch, I send the needle into my thumb.  At this point, I recognize that the evening is doomed in the shop and head upstairs.

While I hope you have a chuckle or two at my expense, I do want you to take away an important message here.  If you're working in the shop and you're tired, angry, frustrated, or distracted, you're much more likely to have problems, or worse - and accident that causes injury.  I've spoken about this before and I can't emphasize it enough.  For now, I'm heading to the Thotful Spot with a restorative beverage.

Unintentional Atkins Diet

This morning I get up feeling particularly groggy. The bathroom upstairs is occupied, so rather than have my morning shower first, I go downstairs and proceed to make myself some lunch.

Silverware? Check.
Yogurt? Check.
Soda? Check.
Apple? Check.
Lunch entree? Check.
Ice Pack? Check.

Zzzziiiippp! Done.

I bring my lunch bag and briefcase to the front door and head up for a shower.

Now that lunch-time has arisen at work, I take the container with my lunch in it to warm in the microwave in our cafeteria. Pop it in and hit start. I'm anticipating a nice lunch of rice with peppers, onions, tomatoes and fajita-seasoned chicken with a bit of cheese on top. MMMmm...

Er, what is this?

Dang.

I've taken the two leftover pork chops from the grill the other night instead of my intended lunch. Atkins diet, here I come.

~I fought the lawn~

This is the sky:


This is your lawn on the sky (Note the mushrooms!):


Any questions?

Well, the lawn didn't win. At least I don't think so.

As I've mentioned, we've been getting epic amounts of rain. Usually, I don't think much of it because it simply means more water to paddle on. However, it has been so wet that mowing the lawn has been impossible. Today, Father's Day, I decided that it was necessary for me to mow the lawn come hell or high water. (Thought I was joking about the high water part when I started, but noooo....) About two weeks ago, I fed and limed the lawn again as it was doing somewhat poorly. Then it began to rain. After each rainfall, there seemed to be a rustling noise followed by an audible *POP!* and the grass would grow another 2". This morning, I went out to empty the compost into the bin we keep out back and my feet were disappearing with each footstep into the verdant leviathan which my lawn has become. Drastic intervention was required, rain or no rain.

Time for the Lawn Ranger and his faithful steed, Orange.

After a passing shower, I checked the weather map for a break in the action and hopped on my trusty Husqvarna. It is a beast of a machine that is fortunately equal to the job with its 15HP two-cylinder engine and twin blades. I managed to get less than one loop of the lawn before the bagger was full. They're large containers and hold several cubic feet of cut grass. I found I had to stop after every loop of the lawn to empty the bagger, slowing me down. To empty the bagger, I head out the path to the grass pile, and enormous, lumpy green moster of immense proportions. It sits under a canopy of Sumac with its pale palmate leaves looking very tropical. I can't seem to get the opening lines of this song out of my head as I go to empty the bagger:



Then, Mother Nature decided to laugh at me. She sent more rain. Buckets of it. I did manage to get back in the garage before the heavens opened. I got maybe a quarter of the lawn cut. Dang. I sat on the mower hoping to wait out what I figured was another passing shower. After a few minutes, it showed no sign of stopping.

I gave up for the moment and went into the house to start working on dinner. We'd invited my father over for a Father's Day supper. On the grill. Really. This is New England, however. ("If you don't like the weather, wait a minute.") The rain slowed and stopped, allowing me to light the grill as the weather showed signs of a change for the positive. During dinner, a wide swath of sunlight on the kitchen floor mocked me as I sat eating.

After dinner and my father's departure, I went back to mowing. The swaths of grass that I'd cut earlier in the afternoon was an inch higher than the stuff I cut after dinner. I swear.

I did manage to get the lawn done. Thankfully, the Husky doesn't slow down for wet grass. Discretion being the better part of valor, I opted not to get out the weed-wacker to clean things up. With fresh wet grass like this, I always get spattered from toes to hips with a spray of green making me look like some odd half-elf mixture. Maybe tomorrow.

Tales from Cuboria...

Some people in this world are just destined to have a job where you get to say, "Do you want fries with that?" Some of those people work for one of our vendors, a national office supply company that shall be nameless....

We're working on a long-standing project that is a departure for us in terms of manufacturing methods and packaging. It's both a cool and very complex device, which after long hours of hard work, has nearly come together. Sadly for us, one of the last bits of detail, labels for the outside of the device and a switch panel just couldn't come together in the required amount of time. I was assigned the task of creating substitutes for these labels and the switch panel. The vendor who will be making these items sent me the artwork they are using for the panels. I took the artwork and went to my local vendor on Thursday afternoon to see what they could do to help.


What they had was an amazing color printer that prints with solid inks on fairly heavy card-stock. I got a sample and found out what I needed to supply for file types, sizes and that I could submit my documents online to save myself a trip. I went back to my office to figure out how I could make this work. After some looking around, I discovered that we have some adhesive films and plastic sheets for the outer layer and I resolved to laminate some labels and cut them out by hand. No big deal, I thought - maybe about a 4 hour job for all that this entailed.

Wrong.


On Friday morning, I tried to email the files that I had received to their print center only to be told by their web page, that this was not possible.

Okay. Nothing is insurmountable.

I drove down with a thumb-drive loaded with the images that I needed to have printed. I figured on about 5 copies of each to give me a chance to try things out and make mistakes. This was a total of 25 pages of printing. I brought black-and-white full size copies of the images with me to the store along with a specific set of instructions:

5 copies of each file
Color print onto heavy, matte finish card stock
Print all images full size

Simple, right?

"I'll have those ready for you by 5:00 PM tonight, sir - 8:00 PM at the latest."

"Well, we're under some pressure here - can you expedite the order?"

"I'll see what I can do. We'll call you at 5:00 or sooner to let you know how things are going and we'll call if we have any questions."

"Great."

5:00 PM came and went. No phone call. 5:15 came. I called them to enquire how the print job was going.

"We're just about to start it - why don't you stop by about 6:30?"

( #$(%*$!!! ) "Sure. See you then."

I killed some time running some errands and arrived at the store to find the print job done. Still, it wasn't quite right. Two of the labels were much too small. I pointed the fact out to the woman working at the counter and she re-printed them in the correct size while I waited. On the surface, the others appeared to be correct. I finally left the vendor's store at about 7:10 PM on a Friday evening when I'd really rather be at home with my family.

This morning (Monday), I arrived at work and started to assemble the labels.

*Uh oh...* Yup. They're a little small...

I return to the vendor's store with the files and tell the woman at the counter (A different person than the one I dealt with on Friday) that the files weren't properly printed and pointed out the clear instructions on the envelope the labels were given to me in. She told me that she'd fix that - no charge. (Darn tootin'!) After a few minutes, she prints two pages. They're exactly the same as the one I have. She spends another few minutes looking through options for the printer, looking confused. She finally calls me over behind the counter and tells me that she can't figure out what the problem is. She selects her way through print options including "FIT TO PRINTER MARGINS" and hits "PRINT". A warning screen comes up that reads, "OUTPUT WILL NOT BE FULL SCALE" and she clicks "OK"!!!

ARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!

She passes me the mouse and I manage to turn the scale to "NONE" and print, getting full scale prints of my labels. (I hope) It's not every day that the customer has to come in and show the employees how to operate their equipment!

Some days, you just can't win.

Oh, and one parting shot - just remember that Murphy was an optimist!


Images from Despair.com Go look at their demotivators. You'll laugh yourself silly.

A little surprise.

My oldest child's 9th birthday was this past weekend - "The Divine Miss M" as I refer to her.

So, Monday - Labor Day - was a "big day out" for the family. The weather was gorgeous - sunny and in the high 7o's, clear and dry with a slightly increasing breeze. We packed up the family, three of our canoes and a breakfast and drove up to a local state park with my father.

When we arrived, we brought the breakfast over to a table overlooking the water and started a wood fire. Soon, the smells of coffee brewing in the French press, hot chocolate, sizzling sausages, home fries and wild blueberry pancakes with real maple syrup were dancing on the breeze along with the aroma of woodsmoke. Leftovers? Nahh... You're all lucky I haven't got smell-a-vision installed. You'd gain 5 pounds just from that.

While we were having breakfast, the breeze freshened up a bit on the pond. No whitecaps or anything too bad, but...

After we got breakfast cleaned up, we drove over to the launch ramp. The three boats are all hand-made. The lapstrake canoe is a Charlotte, the small cedar strip is a Wee Lassie and the larger one in the rear is a Wabnaki. The Divine Miss M had only been on her own in a canoe once. In the fall she paddled the Charlotte in a small area of the same pond. She decided that she wanted to paddle my Wee Lassie, so I was paddling the Charlotte.


My father, DS and DW were in the Wabnaki. It was DS's first time in a canoe - ever. He was very excited. DW was excited too, but only because she's not particularly comfortable in a small boat.


We finally got out on the water and The Divine Miss M was trying to paddle with a Greenland style paddle that I made for her. She wasn't having much luck as it was a bit short for the Wee Lassie's beam. She then tried a larger paddle which she managed to work with. I was trying to stay close, shadowing her in the Charlotte and at the same time having a running tutorial on paddling as she tried to go along in a straight line. She was finding it a bit frustrating as she's very light and the wind was pushing her around a bit. Pretty soon, she felt she was getting the hang of things and was paddling fairly aggressively. I warned her not to get too cocky.


It was very sudden, really. She appeared to try to take a stroke, but the flat of the blade was not oriented correctly and as she tried to push, she got no resistance from the paddle as the blade sliced through the water - over she went.

The next thing I saw was the canoe's bottom and a floating paddle. The Divine Miss M was nowhere in sight. I had a moment of panic only a parent can have and began closing the short distance at an amazing speed. While I was paddling, I was relieved to hear her screaming very loudly from underneath the canoe - I knew she was OK if she was screaming. Little girls have this really piercing scream when they want to.

As I got to the boat and rolled the gunnel of the submerged canoe up to get her out from under the canoe she darted out and grabbed the gunnel of the Charlotte. She was going to haul herself aboard.

Not so fast, young lady! Let's wait for Grampa and he can help balance us while you get in - before you swamp a second canoe and the camera, wallet, key fob and dry gear!

It took me a minute to convince her to hold onto the canoe and float while waiting for my father come over. Amazingly - she hadn't lost her hat, her glasses or anything else. She finally stopped screaming once she got in the boat again. She was wet and cold, but OK. After being transferred to my father's boat, I went back and collected the loose paddles floating in the water and towed the swamped canoe to shore to empty it.

Amazingly, The Devine Miss M wanted to get right back into the canoe and paddle back to the put-in. I've got to give her kudos for wanting to get right back in the canoe. It was very brave of her, considering the scare she had.

She did learn some valuable lessons today:

-Always, always, always wear your PFD.
-Don't overestimate your skills.
-Don't paddle with your shoes on, you may need to swim, and it's easier without them.
-If you got over, stay with the boat.
-Even when the boat is upside down, there is (usually) air underneath!

-Always dress for the water temperature, not the air temperature.
-No matter how warm the day may seem, the water can be COLD.
-Always have a dry change of clothes. You may not be going swimming, but Murphy may have other ideas.

No pictures of the after-capsize Miss M. She was a bit too ornery for them!

Ever have one of those days?

I did on Sunday. Murphy's Law just seemed to be working overtime around our place.

Quite frankly, Murphy is an SOB.

With Spring in the air, all of the springtime chores have kicked in. On Saturday morning the weather was beautiful and we had our canoe building class outside. The last of the strips were put on the second boat (YAY!) SWMBO had invited a friend of SWMBO Jr. over to have a sleep-over on Saturday night, so I spent my afternoon running errands to get fertilizer and things for the lawn, food and drink for our guest and her parents who would join us for Sunday lunch and a movie for the kids to watch. I'd wanted to get some chores done but Saturday was pretty much shot.

Meh.

So, on Sunday morning, I got up and got some stuff done after breakfast. (cleaned the winter tar off the car, and prepped stuff for lunch) I cooked a great lunch (...if I do say so, myself) and we had a great time with our guests.

Then Murphy took over.

I was going to edge the garden beds. I went to get out the necessary tools. I got out the edging tool and a shovel. Then, I got the garden cart and wheeled it out. The rubber peeled off the rim of the cart. Geez... Not going to be doing edging, I guess.

Next task on the list. Get out the pressure washer to do a bit of clean-up. Hook it all up get started and pull the handle along to where I'll be working. *SNAP* The plastic quick-disconnect that feeds water to the thing from the hose snaps off. Guess what I'm not doing.

I was going to work in the back yard, but my son decided to go down to play at the end of the street where I was going to need to keep an eye on him. No working in the back yard.

Ok. I guess I'll finish cleaning and waxing my car. No, wait, I don't HAVE my car, SWMBO took it to take herself and SWMBO Jr. somwhere as our guests were parked behind her vehicle.

Alright, I guess I'd better clean SWMBO's beast. It's been unloved all winter long. I pulled out the floor mats and got the shop vac out. Turns out there is a cut in the hose.

Grrr.

Duct tape. If you can't fix it with duct tape, you're not using enough.

I got the car vacuumed out and started washing. I then accidentally stepped on the nozzle's lever and proceeded to liberally hose down my crotch, making it look like I'd wet my pants.

With an afternoon like that I was almost afraid to go to the bathroom.