Wednesday, April 8, 2009

An Assassin in Our Midst

DW is convinced that we have an assassin in the house.

I, on the other hand, am not convinced. As far as I am concerned, there are at least two suspects, perhaps more. With each passing week, there are more widows and orphans than there were the week before. A couple of times a week, in our bedroom, things look a lot like this:

The come into the world as twins, but suddenly cruel life intervenes and they are alone, truly alone in the world. DW figures that the washer is the killer, but I've been suspecting the dryer for a long time. Don't you think the one on the left looks a little "shifty"?

In the past week or so, DW had received a shipment that she had been longing for. New socks, knickers (underwear for you lot...) and assorted undergarments from Marks & Spencer. As long as DW has lived here in the US, she seems to have this attachment to Marks & Spencer's underwear and will not live without them. When we go to visit the UK, at least one shopping trip involves a stop at M&S to shop for underwear. A few weeks ago, an online friend pointed her in the direction of a special free shipping offer and she was in heaven. She ordered items for herself, DS and DD.

Last night, a load of laundry came upstairs to be sorted and put away. It included some of the newly arrived M&S booty. In particular, there were socks, for DS. DW claims to have dumped the brand new package of socks straight into the washing machine. When DW came upstairs, she was less than pleased to discover that one of the socks from the DS's new set was already missing! She cursed the washing machine to the last bearing and bolt.

I still maintain that it's actually the dryer.

To be honest, I sometimes wonder if the missing socks have actually gone to a better place. I can only hope.

Then again, after spending all this time wondering about the missing socks, it makes me question my sanity a bit. Perhaps a little self-help reading is in order.


matthew houskeeper said...

300 million people in this country, and everyone has lost at least ten socks.
Where are they all????

Almost American said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Almost American said...

It can't be the dryer - where would the socks have gone? It has to be the washing machine - the socks went down the drain. I'll bet half the 'solids' in the septic tank are socks!

Da Goof said...

The socks are probably still in the washer, under the drum. There is no way they went through the small diameter waste water hose with out plugging it up.

psst...I know you access to "things" that would allow you "peek" around the drum...