Saturday, February 19, 2011

Life, Wonder Bread, the Universe and Everything

I must admit at the beginning of this post that this is shamelessly copied (with minor alterations) from a co-worker's Facebook post. These are the actual events of a Thursday afternoon two weeks ago. Quite frankly, we probably wouldn't have believed her but for the fact that she was in the boss's car (this would probably happen to him while driving...) and the fact that there was evidence in the form of pictures and, um, other material. Now, I'll just let her pictures and words tell it like it was:

This is a story of intrigue...


It was a lovely Thursday afternoon. Life was good. So...



...I decided to accompany my boss on some errands. While enroute to the bank, and without the courtesy of a warning...



...a giant hawk (not THIS hawk, but a similar-looking hawk) carrying...



. . . a squirrel (not THIS squirrel, but a similar-looking squirrel) came careening towards our vehicle. The hawk was swiftly losing altitude and crashed into the windshield. It flapped and freaked as its wings pounded the glass. My boss and I screamed and the hawk flew way, but not before depositing bloody squirrel bits all over the hood. We'd no sooner screeched to a halt when (and I knew it was coming when the sun went away) we were clobbered from behind by none other than...




...the Wonder Bread truck, which was driven by...



...an extroverted Malboro-smoking man with three half-teeth and a leg that dragged behind him a bit (not THIS guy, but a similar-looking guy). And so, in the end...



...the Wonder Bread truck didn't look too bad.



My boss's vehicle didn't look too bad



...but the squirrel? Life wasn't looking so good for that little guy.



...and it did take two trips through the car wash to get all of the squirrel off of my boss's car ...

3 comments:

jbchicoine said...

I'm not sure if that is more disgusting than funny or the other way around, but I can't stop chuckling and looking at the pictures...

Canoez said...

Well, I thought of it as more surreal and bizarre in a Twin Peaks/Northern Exposure sort of way, actually. David Lynch would have been proud to write that as an illustrated children's book.

Doesn't say much about David Lynch, does it?

jbchicoine said...

Just showed this to my husband...hehehehe...